Steamy Darcy: Love, Suck and Sex

Totally silly Pride and Prejudice + science fiction. This is not for the faint hearted. Thanks DA for beta'ing.

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Once upon a time, vampires roamed the streets and sucked the blood out of men and women on earth. The two greatest clans of vampires came from Derbyshire and Kent. Their thirst for blood turned into an unofficial contest. The human race was nearly wiped out by their rivalry, until one day, a truce was temporarily reached. Since then, the human population was increased again by mixed marriages with vampires and cloning.

The bloodthirsty creatures were also castrated and cloned to become suckones. They no longer drank blood. They now nursed for pleasure, in the Annual Sucking Competition, when their electronic halo which suppressed their urges was released. Or if they were lucky and found a partner whom they could feed their urges on, they could wear the halo less frequently, and increase their life expectancy.

Suckones sponsored less wealthy planets to provide partners for their competitors. Men and women participated in the week long festival. Team members were tagged with bio-devices to monitor their pleasure levels. The couple who scored the top marks would win and split the prize money.

“Commander Matlock, Spaceship Derbyshire will arrive on schedule at Planet Hertfordshire in 1800,” Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam reported.

“Good! And the position of SK?” Commander Andrew Matlock asked.

“Spaceship Kent is at 69x 88y 33z, Sir! About 0.05 light years away.”

“Wonderful! We’ll arrive ahead of SK and get the amazing opportunity of choosing first.”

“Should I send the protocol signal to Hertfordshire now?”

“Yes.”

After meeting teams from Goulding House, Purvis Lodge and Lucas Lodge, Matlock shook his head. He was in despair of finding the right partners for his team.

“The next one of decent size is Longbourn, Sir!” Richard read the data on his s-pad.

“Put the Commander of Longbourn on.”

After a few seconds, a middle-aged woman with handsome features appeared on the s-screen.

“You’re the Commander, madam?” Matlock was a bit unsure. She wore a rather silly uniform in red and pink, not at all like a commander with entrants for a serious competition.

“Indeed, Sir! I’m Mrs. Bennet. My husband past away last year, and this is the first time Longbourn is participating in the Annual Sucking Competition. With the generous funding from the suckones, I’ve been training my girls very hard.”

Matlock’s eyes brightened up. He did not anticipate finding such a gem in this backwater Planet Hertfordshire. First time team partners always incited his suckone clan to perform. “I’ve three competitors this time. Colonel Fitzwilliam, my son, has 15 years experience. He specialises in toe indulgence. William Darcy, my nephew, is a first time participant too. He prefers to keep his speciality confidential. Charles Bingley has three years experience. He specialises in lip worship.”

“Marvellous! I have five girls. All of them are, of course, first time participants. Come, girls! This is Jane, Lydia, Kitty and Mary. Where is Lizzy? That wild girl. I only train my girls to give men pleasure. They have worked with silicon men this last year, spending up to six hours a day training.”

Matlock looked at his team. Both Bingley and Richard had their eyes fixed on Jane. Darcy looked distant and uninterested. Well, finally two out of three, not bad. “Mrs. Bennet, expect us in 1824.”

“You do us great honour, Commander Matlock!” Mrs. Bennet exclaimed, hugging and laughing with Lydia and Kitty.

Richard switched off the communication and said, “Jane Bennet is exceptionally pretty.”

“She smiles too much,” Darcy said. “This Lizzy Bennet is perhaps too plain to incite my pleasure. That's why she's hiding.”

“You amaze me, Darcy. All the Bennet ladies are very pretty. And this Jane is angelic!” Bingley argued. “Can I partner with her?”

“But I had my eyes on her first!” Richard said.

Matlock jumped in. “Richard, you know the rule. The least experienced suckone has first choice to choose. So Darcy first, then Bingley, and you’re the last.”

“Bloody unfair rule!” Richard swore.

“Not at all,” Matlock said. “First timers need someone who can incite them to perform best. You are so experienced that you probably can perform at a reasonable level, even without your partner’s stimulation.”

“I know. It's just a bloody annoying rule!” Richard said again.

“You won’t be in my way?” Bingley turned to ask Darcy.

Continue tomorrow