Jul 9, 2010

Not suitable for children

“Mommy, I found this book in the attic. Didn’t quite understand it. Can you explain it to me?” 8-year-old Eric Darcy asked his mother. She was tucking him in for the night.

Elizabeth looked at the book. It was a dark green pocket notebook with a quality leather cover. She opened the first page: Fitzwilliam 1987.

“It must be your father’s diary…when he was 8 years old. We shouldn’t read it without his permission.”

“It’s not. It’s just word lists or strange poems.” He shook his head and urged his mother on.

With a slight hesitation and then a flip of the page, she saw a list of phrases.

“Ah you’re right.” She murmured and read out loud the first one.

Dip the chip and
visit the nether lands…

Her mouth gaped open and she closed the book immediately. “Hmm…”

“What does it mean?” Eric asked.

“Hmm…Your daddy was probably just practising his writing. You know like Uncle Bingley. He still writes with blots because he didn’t practise his writing. So they’re just nonsense. How about I read ‘The Christmas Carol’ to you?” She distracted her son’s attention and put the notebook in her jacket’s pocket.

After Eric had fallen asleep, Elizabeth went back to her room.

“I can’t imagine he was like that at 8…” Mumbling to herself, she opened the notebook again:

Shoot the girl and
Sweep out the chimney

Play on the hair court and
the pocket billiard

“What are you murmuring about?” Darcy’s baritone voice startled Elizabeth and she dropped the notebook.

When she bent to retrieve it, he snatched it from her and settled on the bed to read it.

“Where did you learn such bad language when you were 8?” She looked at her husband accusingly. “Eric read it.”

He broke out in laughter and then proceeding to read out loud.

Put your snake in the grass
Ride the skin bus into tuna town

“I’ve had enough of it!” She protested.

Darcy pulled her down in his lap and explained. “It’s not mine. It’s Richard’s.”

“Oh…” She said and finally saw the benefit of continuing to read. So she joined in to learn about their cousin’s youthful follies. “He wrote that at what…15?”

“1987? He was 13.” Darcy grinned. “We’ll have live ammunition to tease him forever. Oh, I like this one”

Suckle the dummy and
erect the Christmas tree

Darcy turned to look at Elizabeth archly. She burst out laughing and tried to get away from him. But he tackled her onto the bed and nuzzled her chest. By the time he tore open her shirt and suckled her ‘flash lights’, Darcy’s Christmas tree was proudly erected and lit up in red and purple.

Throughout the night, husband and wife laughed, read and made love in a boisterous manner.

As for Uncle Richard, he was seen bribing and charming servants and children to help him retrieve his lost handbook from the merciless Darcys.


  1. Good to see you're back in business, Enid. Did youenjoy you're vacation? Did it give you alot of new inspiration for your writing?

    Cold As Heaven

  2. Thanks, I enjoyed it, backpacking and hiking. But pretty tired. Yes, got some inspiration. In fact met a Norweigean during one of the hostel stay, though he's kind of negative guy.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Popular Posts

My photo
I'm the author of The Spinster's Vow, My Darcy Vibrates, Every Savage Can Reproduce, Chemical Fusion, My Darcy Mutates, Really Angelic, Bargain with the Devil, In Quest of Theta Magic and Fire and Cross. My novels have been ranked in the top 50 best-selling romances on Amazon USA or Canada. I write sexy romance in modern, historical, paranormal and science fiction genres. I love food, Pride and Prejudice, travel and tennis. With a Masters degree in Arts, I work in advertising and live in beautiful Sydney. Sounds too tame? You can read my wild stories at steamydarcy.com